I am assuming here this is in regards to relationships seeking a life time commitment in marriage. I pastor a Church and as such, I love many people. But when we speak of the term 'in love' there is only one person other than my God that fits that description: My wife.
There are a series of questions you may want to ask yourself.
AM I WILLING TO SACRIFICE ANY ASPECTS OF MY LIFE TO BE WITH THIS PERSON?
When it comes to marriage, God meant for a man and a woman in such a relationship to have something meaningful together. I don't necessarily think that you must or will give up your dreams, but unless both are on the same page, the marriage will struggle.
My wife followed me out to Colorado as I believed that God had called me here to pastor. She believed that too. She wanted that too. She and I ended up on the same page and that helped make our marriage such a success. I was willing to not go to Colorado if she didn't. I was willing to wait and seek other avenues because I believed that God calls both me and my wife, not just me.
So ask yourself: Is your career or the future you want more important than the person you think you might love? If it is, you are not in love. Not really. You might be attracted, or infatuated, but you aren't in love.
IS THIS PERSON'S VALUE SYSTEM SIMILAR TO MY OWN?
In other words, do you share similar values, morals, and principles in life? Sharing similar values is what will keep a relationship strong over time. The more values you share, the more security and less fighting you'll do.
Sharing things in common, like chocolate, may have helped to bring you together, but it will be the values you share in life that will keep you together.
My wife and I share similar values on God, child rearing, and marriage. This demonstrates over and over again why we love each other.
DO I NEED THIS PERSON AND DOES THIS PERSON NEED ME?
A relationship, especially a marriage, is built on the ability to contribute essential and missing elements that both individuals need.
I need my wife. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. Intellectually, I know that I could survive and I'll figure out a way. But emotionally, and spiritually, I can't fathom it.
We share a mutually symbiotic relationship. Without her, I am much less and without me, she is much less. Together, there is synergy in our relationship.
This is something that you need to look for. If you really don't need another person, you'll fall out of love as quickly as you fell into it.
DO WE SHARE A SIMILAR VISION OF WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL GO?
This is essential. A bond, such as a marriage, is predicated on sharing a vision and purpose in life. My wife I and pastor a Church. This is a vision and purpose that we share. Our need for each other, our desire to grow a church, our love of helping people all contribute to our falling in love with each other over and over again.
If you have a vision of the future that is not shared by the other person, you'll have major problems. You'll quickly find that you don't feel as much love for a person that isn't walking beside you in life.
Ask these questions, the positive answers to them all will tell you if you are truly in love or not.